


Just In Case

by Editor7



Category: The Beatles
Genre: M/M, Mentions of Sex, Sort of sad, Third Person Limited, another lot of nothing, it'll never end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-05
Updated: 2016-12-05
Packaged: 2018-09-06 15:14:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8757622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Editor7/pseuds/Editor7
Summary: John and Paul had a complicated relationship.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Well, this one is a bit different. It's probably the first McLennon story I wrote. Like the last couple works I've posted, I can't see anyone having too strong of a reaction to it, but it doesn't hurt to post it, right? Hope you enjoy!

John and Paul had a complicated relationship.

It was a relationship of all kinds.

It was romantic, it was platonic, it was sexual, it was casual, it was passionate, it was unrequited, reciprocated, it was all kinds of things.

And despite all these kinds of things, John was...dissatisfied. And he was dissatisfied with his dissatisfaction.

He and Paul and slept together, alright? And not in the joking way they told others they did; they'd actually made love on multiple occasions.  
Whether it was the alcohol talking or just a spurt of passion, John didn't know, but when he or Paul got that look in his eye, they would instantly retreat to the nearest hotel room and do what they felt they had to do.

But that was just it. Even though he and Paul made love passionately, it felt like that was all it was; some sort of routine. John wanted much more with Paul than he'd had with that one girl in art college, but he couldn't get it. And it was beginning to feel like he was getting in his own way.

There were certain times where John found that he couldn't kiss Paul. They'd be in private of course, working on a song, and John would get that irrepressible urge. He'd lean in to kiss Paul, but...for the life of him, he couldn't. Occasionally Paul would notice this and flash a reassuring smile, as though to say "It's okay. I know you love me."

They'd make love, but they couldn't manage a simple kiss.

They'd touched each other all over, but they couldn't look at each other without getting shy.

They'd moaned each other's names in fervent arousal, but they couldn't say "I love you."

But sometimes John wished Paul didn't love him so much. Perhaps that was his inner voice telling him it couldn't last. 

One morning, he recalled, he'd sat himself on the edge of their bed and pondered this. When he heard Paul waking up, he didn't turn around. He asked Paul if he would really and truly always be there for him and flinched at his answer.

"Of course, John. Always."

And maybe that was why John hesitated.  
He knew there was a good chance Paul would abandon him one day.

So he'd hold back. Just in case.


End file.
